The Art of Understanding and Empathy: A Light Shines Bright on a Young Man With Different Abilities
I was thrilled to get this blog interview because as a former student of mine who moved away, I wanted to know how he and his family were doing. He was a boy on the autism spectrum and was such an empathetic person, always tuned into his classmates’ feelings. I was delighted to hear that his mom is pregnant, and I know he will be a great big brother. As a new student in my class, I was thrilled to see his talents as a budding artist. When he took notes in class, he drew pictures to connect the learning to a visual aid. In sixth grade, I accompanied him and four other students to the regular education science class and nicknamed them “The Fab Five”. The class often had group projects and he was always tasked to draw the illustrations on the posters we would make. He was very well-mannered and well-liked by all the other students. He liked to give pats on the back to his fellow students to encourage them. His mom said he is neat, clean, and organized and likes to help others stay on track. I knew that to be true and was sad when he moved away.
The drawings on this blog are all his original artwork. His mom sent me several pictures, but size restraints did not allow me to share them all.
What is one thing you wish teachers knew about your child that is not on the IEP?
The one thing that I wish teachers knew about Jake is how much of a help he can be in a classroom setting. He is so organized, neat and clean. He loves to help others stay on track and schedule. He is very empathetic and has a high regard for others and their own special needs. Jake is always willing to help and contribute to the classroom.
Scores on tests do not define the child. What is something your child is really good at that is not reflected on tests?
Jake is a very capable learner, an enthusiast student! Throughout his school career, it has been a disappointment to many teachers and specialists that Jake would not display his knowledge on tests. Tests have never been able to define Jake or show his ability to comprehend.
How important is homework for your child?
Homework for Jake has never been a bother or an issue. If there is work to be completed either at school or at home, then Jake is ready to take on the task. Through the pandemic years we would pick up packets/work sheets from schools, Jake was fine and happy to work from home. We used his Chromebook to listen and respond in many subjects. He is a very good student, attentive and hard working in any setting.
How old was your child when you first knew he/she had special needs?
Jake was born blue; he had breathing issues and poor oxygen levels at birth. The main issue for Jake as a toddler was the advancement of his speech and language communication. By two years old he was not meeting markers in communication. He did meet goals and benchmarks in most other areas, such as he walked, ran, potty trained along with his peers. His growth was never affected, he was a very healthy child with no major health concerns. Today he is a strong, healthy young man standing at the height of 6’2.
What is one piece of advice for someone with a newly diagnosed child?
My advice to parents who are new to the journey is to not let others define your child. There will be many teachers and specialists who you will interact with you and your family throughout your child’s life. Keep in mind that not everyone of those adults will be a good fit. You and your child will not get along or thrive with everyone you encounter. Keep moving forward, find those individuals who can reach your child. Pray for the best teachers and specialists to come into their lives. Never
stop believing in your child!
What is one meal that everyone in your family likes to eat?
The one meal my entire family loves is baked spaghetti, with a side of green beans and baked bread.
What activities do you have for interacting with children with special needs?
I have found it best for others to get to know Jake alongside me and his other family members. Interacting with a child that has speech and communication barriers can be difficult if you do not have a connection to that person.
What activities do you recommend to other parents to foster self-care?
I think self-care for a special needs individual begins with organization. Have a set schedule for their needs. That routine takes so much of the stress out of their everyday lives. Jake likes repetition and knowing where everything is in our home is a must for him.
Are there any support groups that you recommend for parents or children?
Special needs parents can find multiple resources throughout the community. Start by asking teachers, attend open houses and ask other parents. For our family being a part of our church is very important to us on many levels, it connects us to others who have similar values as ourselves.
What are your favorite family activities?
Our favorite family activities are golfing, and swimming at home or at our club pool. We attend a few Alabama Football games each year since moving back south. We eat dinner and read the Bible together aloud as a family each evening, God willing and as much as we can.
I love this mom’s reply that one of their family’s favorite activities is to eat dinner together and pray together as a family, reading the Bible each night. She sees the church as a support group as it connects them to others who have similar values. She said people can get support by asking teachers, attending open houses, and asking other parents for support.
Recently I shared a picture I had seen that said, “Autism is not a disability. It’s a different ability.” I feel blessed that I was this boy’s teacher, now a young man with so many different abilities. Always look for each individual’s talents and shine a light on those who are empathetic and have high regard for others and their own special needs.