Silent Strength: How a Mother’s Advocacy Changed Everything

 

Silent Strength: How a Mother’s Advocacy Changed Everything

 

     This mom has held several positions at Optimist International. The group’s mission is, “providing hope, and positive vision, Optimists bring out the best in children, their communities, and themselves.” She was elected to serve a 3-year term on the International Board of Directors as one of the Directors. When I thought about different people to interview, I thought about this family friend. She has a son who is deaf. It would be interesting to hear about this man’s journey. She has known me all my life and was a close friend to my older sister.  This picture seemed fitting because she always looks on the bright side of life. When I thought about different exceptionalities, I thought about her because of her son who is now 55 years old. I remembered that he was hearing impaired, and I wanted to know about their educational journey. She first took him to the pediatrician for a checkup as a baby but was told she was an overreactive mom and that he chose to ignore them. He did not react when they made loud noises behind him and he didn’t move. He would sit on the floor and play with toys. Fortunately, they had a family member involved with the deaf and hard of hearing in grad school. There was a rift in the marriage about this boy being hearing impaired which resulted in divorce.

     After much research, they finally got the information they needed to move forward. They relocated to  Cedar Rapids, Iowa where he could be with hearing and non-hearing children in Cedar Rapids.This mom took him to Iowa City to the Wendell Johnson Speech and Hearing Clinic twice weekly for “speech” therapy. She said that the other parents of hearing-impaired children were movers and shakers on behalf of their kids! The kids and their families were introduced to David Anthony, who invented Seeing Essential English- a sign language that taught the kids words and sentences, not just concepts. (ASL is primarily a concept) One sign can mean 5 different words or even a whole idea or concept. The kids were mainstreamed into regular classrooms with a teacher for their basic subjects. The kids learned to read and comprehend sentence structure.

     Read this mom’s astute and wise answers, and appreciate all she did to have her child live his best life with hearing and non-hearing friends.

 

 

Q: What is one thing you wish teachers know about your child that is not on the IEP?

A: He is loving, caring, and fearless.

 

Q: How important is homework for your child? Is it just a burden, or is it a helpful learning tool?

A: Sometimes it was important, other times frustrating for child and parent.

 

Q: How old was your child when you first knew he/she had special needs?

A: Just over a year old

 

Q: What is one piece of advice you have for someone with a newly diagnosed child?

A: Love them and on them, always. He/she is a normal child who happens not to hear.

 

Q: What advice do you have for interacting with children with special needs?

A: Patience, and love, and more patience.

 

Q: What activities do you recommend to other parents to foster self-care?

A: Pray for guidance. Find support groups. Spend time with other families in similar situations.

 

Q: Are there any support groups you recommend for parents or children?

A: There were, but I don’t remember the details. Always involve the child in “normal” kid activities, church, sports, Scouts, etc. Every child needs to feel a part of something that is “normal.” The more of this that can happen, the better the child will feel about his/herself and the more confidently he/she will function as an adult. Also, discipline the same as your “normal” child.

 

     As a boy, he became a Cub Scout, then went on to eventually become an Eagle Scout. He participated in several sports through the YMCA and school. He married a hearing girl and they had two children. He has both hearing and hearing-impaired friends. Today this man is 55 years old and works full-time at the Post Office, and part-time helping a guy he knows who flips houses, doing reconstruction and renovation.

     One of the sad realities of life is that sometimes families fall apart. It is hard for some people to deal with all the challenges that may come with raising a child with special needs. The things that keep this mom going are her faith and family, and her work with the Optimist group. This post speaks to the strength of a mother, who knew something was not right, even when the doctor told her she was being a reactive mom. She pressed on and got the needed answers, then set her son up for success, finding the people who could help him. This mom is a perfect example of thinking, “Today is a good day to have a good day. ” Finding support groups, praying for guidance, and having patience with love, are perfect examples of a mother’s dedication to her son. This is a lesson for all of us- support, prayers, and love are things we all need in life.