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Downright Perfect: Raising a Compassionate and Caring Girl
I was very excited to get this interview because this girl has amazing skills and much to share with everyone. I am lucky to have met her. I am friends with her aunt, and even though I did not teach her, I have met her and thought she had good social skills and was very polite. Her aunt and I taught together, and we would talk about the importance of holding all kids accountable for their actions and teaching them to be kind to others. We had many conversations about the importance of social skills for children. This girl has Down syndrome and is one of 5 children in her family. Her mom told me she was born into the perfect family. Some family members are nurses, coaches, special education teachers, and a health teacher. Mom said she relied on her faith and her family for support. This girl is in the middle of the children with two siblings older, and two siblings younger than her. She wanted to do what her siblings did, and they supported her efforts. She has always been treated like everyone else, which in my mind, is a formula for success. She has learned great social skills and the importance of being a team player.
This girl loves to dance and is always sweet and kind to everyone. She is well-liked by her peers. She helped her class run a cafe and coffee shop in her sophomore year. She learned how to make smoothies and some treats. Also in her sophomore year, she was on the homecoming court with her boyfriend, and as a senior, she was given the “Overcoming Obstacles” award and on the National Honor Society. In her senior year, she and her boyfriend were voted “best dancers.” She started at her school’s career center program in hospitality and two and a half years of the 3-year program, but then COVID hit. She learned valuable skills which she uses in her job today.
Q: What is one thing you wish teachers know about your child that is not on the IEP?
A: She is loving, kind, and sensitive. She will always want to please others.
Q: Scores on tests do not define the child. What is something your child is really good at that is not reflected on tests?
A: Emma is great at having compassion and caring( attentive) for others
Q: How important is homework for your child? Is it just a burden, or is it a helpful learning tool?
A: Minimal homework is very important, but 15-30 minutes tops
Q: How old was your child when you first knew he/she had special needs?
A: In the womb at 27 weeks we found out Emma has Down syndrome.
Q: What is one piece of advice you have for someone who has a newly diagnosed child?
A: It is going to be ok. Have faith! Be careful what you read!
Q: What is one meal that everyone in your family likes to eat?
A: All my children(5) and husband love pizza and spaghetti bake
Q: What advice do you have for interacting with children with special needs?
A: Be an active listener for your child. It is easy to tune him/her out.
Q: What activities do you recommend to other parents to foster self-care?
A: Teach your children proper eating habits, personal hygiene care, and proper social skills. For my self-care, I like to walk and swim.
Q: Are there any support groups that you recommend for parents or children?
A: We just leaned on our family for support.
Q: What are your favorite family activities?
A: We love to listen to music and go to family sporting events.
I knew this mom had some important advice for everyone. She said that you realize these kids have a disability, and you can choose to treat them like they have a disability or treat them like everyone else. She and her family chose to treat this girl just like everyone else. She said in the early days she had two questions that would run through her mind- “Am I doing the right thing? Am I doing enough?” She stopped asking herself those questions and treated her daughter the same as her other 4 kids. She now says to take one day at a time. She realized her daughter could reach all the milestones of early development, just at a slower pace, and she walked at 18 months. If you check developmental charts, you see that neurotypical babies walk between 10 and 18 months. This girl was within the normal range.
This girl has been taught about healthy nutrition and exercise. She eats a balanced diet and does not eat much junk food. She walks about an hour a day and loves to swim. She loves to dance. People with Down syndrome have low muscle tone, so diet and exercise are vital for health. Dates of events are something that she can recall with excellent accuracy. For example, she told her mom that she got her wisdom teeth pulled on September 3, 2016, and it was right before Labor Day Weekend. She will recall the date of a concert, saying, “Remember Mom, when we went to see Pentatonix on _________ a certain date.”
This interview gave me many important reminders. The first one is to have your children grow up treating everyone with kindness and respect. It is easy to see this is modeled at home. Family responsibilities are important. The family has a cat, and this girl feeds the cat and changes her litter box. Social skills and hygiene are important skills that start at home. Diet and exercise are important for all of us to lead healthy lives. Today, at 24 years old, this girl is a responsible worker in a nursing home. The residents love her and it is easy to understand why. From the very beginning, this girl was given the tools she needed to be the success she is today. A supportive family surrounded her. She won the award for “Overcoming Obstacles” and seeing this girl with Down syndrome flourish is truly inspiring. She often says this to her mom. ” Mom, I’m living the life, right?” Yes, I would agree- she is living a wonderful life.