A Celebration To Honor Her Memory: We Are More Alike Than Different
Katie Nadig is a mother of 5 children: a girl and 4 boys. Her daughter, Ella, was born with Down syndrome. Sadly, Ella died at age 3 and a half. Last year, on November 21st, she would have turned 21 (Golden Birthday), so to celebrate her daughter, Katie created a fundraising event with the suggestion that people donate $21 in Ella’s honor. What a gala event, with over 200 people in attendance! Those who could not attend the event also donated to this cause. Children were also invited, with music, dancing, glow rings, and glow sticks as part of this celebration. The nearly $23,000 raised was donated to the nonprofit “The Down Syndrome Support Team.” The website for this organization is https://downsyndromesupportteam.com/ I love that this family celebrates their daughter/sister every year. What an incredible way to honor Ella’s life and create a wonderful legacy of love. I asked Katie to answer some questions so I could have a better understanding of her daughter and the ways this family honors her memory.
Here are her responses:
Can you tell me about your daughter? What was she like?
Ella was a sweet and spunky little girl. She loved Sesame Street, specifically Elmo. She loved amusement rides.
What were some of your favorite memories with her?
We took her to Disney Land for her second and third birthdays and she loved the rides. We really enjoyed seeing her big smiles. She even loved the rides at the Saline Fair and was confident enough to ride the rides by herself when we were
too tall for a ride!
What were some of the biggest lessons she taught you?
Patience was a lesson that I was forced to learn. Through Ella’s hospitalizations, I learned that recovery was often in her time, not mine. I also learned that she would reach her milestones just in her own timing. I learned to slow down and
just appreciate the time spent with her.
How did having a daughter with Down syndrome change your perspective on
life?
It shifted my perspective of normal. It made me a more compassionate and patient person. I don’t think that I was a bad person before Ella, but I am definitely a better person post her birth. I think she made me a better teacher in that I truly
believe everyone can learn and grasp material but that we all learn in different ways and at different paces and that is more than ok.
What inspired you to start a fundraiser in her honor?
I want to keep her memory alive. The idea of celebrating her and doing good in her name was at the forefront of my mind and I decided to act on it. The night, however, surpassed all of my expectations.
How did your family celebrate her birthday in other years?
Before my boys entered high school, we always celebrated her birthday with a trip. In fact, I think that my boys looked forward to her birthday. We would pull them out of school and spend a week at the beach or go to Disney World. The way I looked at it was that we could stay home and feel sorry for ourselves or go out and celebrate her.
Share the most rewarding moment you’ve experienced from your fund-raising
event.
I was blown away at how many people RSVP’d yes and more over how many people made a donation in her name. I never anticipated raising just shy of $23k. We felt lucky to have been surrounded by our family and friends having so much
fun and doing so much good in her name. All of this money will stay local and will support those with Down syndrome. This night will remain a core memory in our life.
How has your journey as a mother shaped the way you advocate for Down
syndrome?
I find myself always supporting the “underdog” in life, but I have also learned not to assume that someone can’t do something because of a label. Ella’s vocabulary was delayed but not by much at all. I assumed that she could do everything until she showed me that she couldn’t and only then did I make accommodations. I have carried this philosophy with me as I parent my other kids and with me in the classroom as well. I also really like the idea that we are more alike than different. I
love the inclusive classroom and believe that the special needs kids often teach the typically developing kids more about life that the typically developing kids teach the special kids.
What advice would you give to other parents who want to honor a loved one?
Do what feels right for you. I want people to know that she existed and is part of my family so we talk about her all the time. She should have turned 21 on November 21st and the idea of throwing her a golden birthday party just felt right. I am sure some people thought it was weird, but I did what was right for me and my family. I am so glad I did because it was such a great night!
What words of wisdom or advice can you provide to help shine a light on people
with developmental disabilities?
Don’t focus on the things you think they can’t do. Take some time to get to know others and remember that we are all more alike than we are different.